Monday, January 24, 2005


It's Monday morning and I'm getting that futility feeling again.

I'm feeling like I'll never get any further with my life than I am now.

I've gone as far as I can. I'll never have a house, I'll never have anything.

I'll just be a lowly receptionist living in a two-room apartment. I can't do anything more for myself. I don't have the education, I'll never be able to get it, and even if I could I don't know if I could handle it.

I need a day off. I need some time to think about things. I need help.

I need help doing what I want to do. I wish I knew for sure whether or not Joe would be utterly faithful to me if I were to attend classes. He knows what that includes. He knows what disturbs me.

*beats head on desk*

I was hoping that this blog would take a different tone. And it will. I just have to air this stuff out first, I suppose.

As soon as this blue feeling passes, that is. I wonder if this is just PMS.


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