Saturday, January 29, 2005

The Week In Review

Urgh.

Got a call from the nursing home where my dad is.

He's not cooperating with them at all. He's been there for two weeks, and he's refusing to sleep in their bed, and he's being verbally abusive of the staff there.

He's insisting that he can care for himself at home alone, and he even lied to them and said there was someone there to help care for him.

I give up.

He has sores/ulcers on his feet, they need treatment, and he's abusing the people who are trying to help him.

This is one of those moments where I see the Buddha's point. We DO bring a lot of suffering onto ourselves. If Father would just relax and let the nurses do their job, he'd not find it so onerous.

I know what he wants. He wants me or my sister Debbie to drop everything and go live with him.

Not possible. There's no work there. Debbie has her life, I have mine. He MUST be in assisted living, but because the psychologists keep finding him mentally competent, we can't force him into it. He gets very hostile whenever these topics are brought up, and yells at us over the phone and hangs up on us...

I swear I want to disappear. I want to change my name and run away to - to Arizona with Joe, and no one will find me ever again.

Maybe then I'll have some peace in my life.

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