Tuesday, March 15, 2005

My Big Fat Fat Rant

From the blog of RuPaul:
"i love "camp" because it blows the lid on self-righteousness and reminds me to not take life so seriously. it also makes tolerable the rampant hypocrisy that stains our culture like a 500 year old cum rag."

I wanted to make a passing comment about an entry I saw on another site that complained about big people wearing skimpy clothes. The writer did say "people" but any time gender was mentioned at all, he used the word "women".

I've seen lots of rants very similar to that about fat people. And I did leave him a note saying that yes, I am a big woman, and yes, I have noticed that when people rant about this, 99% of the time the only people who are taken to task for this fashion faux pas are women. I think that says a lot, that overwhelmingly people automatically picture women in their heads when thinking about this particular topic.

I think it goes to show that there is some level of serious sexism inherent in Western culture, and I think it needs to be consciously combatted if the human race is going to evolve intellectually and socially.

People need to stop and think about these things before making generalized comments. They need to ask themselves if they are being truly equal and fair even in their most personal of thoughts...and while that may sound like being "thought police" I say it's utterly necessary if there's going to be a halt to the automatic, unconscious stigmatizing of women for various stupid sins that are completely pointless anyway.

It all starts with each individual person -- social revolution is not going to come from outside. No one is going to come along and save us from ourselves, and teach us how to better relate to each other and build a better world to live in. We are responsible for where we are right now, and if we don't like it we are responsible for doing something to change it.


Therefore if I do not speak up and call attention to these unconscious thought patterns that can be made conscious, and can be changed, then I am partially responsible for people continuing to mentally punish women like me for the "sin" of being big and possibly dressing in a way that people don't like.

Not that I do. I'm very conservative in my personal style. I always have been, even when I was 18 years old, weighing literally 91 pounds soaking wet. (I'm short, ya see.)

But people should be free to dress as they like and not have to consider whether or not they ARE going to be stared at. The person doing the staring CAN make the choice NOT TO DO IT. Imagine that! It's like George Carlin said about the minister who got offended at the "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" routine that Carlin does, so he wrote an ugly letter to the radio station that broadcast Carlin's show and protested. Carlin's response?

"Pastor, if you don't like what you hear on the radio, there's these TWO KNOBS on it that a: change the station and b: turn the radio OFF! Oh, but I suppose a PASTOR wouldn't be all that COMFORTABLE with something that has TWO KNOBS ON IT!!"

Hahaha! I've always loved Carlin; he kills me.

But basically it always, always comes down to freedom of choice.

A person, no matter their weight or skin color or age or whatever, should be free to express themselves even in the clothes they wear and not have to put up with ugly repurcussions. Those who would stare and riducule and whatnot -- well, quite frankly it's THEIR problem. If they do have issues with it, maybe they need to ask themselves why. Maybe a trip to a therapist would be in order if it bothers them so much.

Reminds me of a story told by Jack Kornfield, a meditation teacher out of Barre, MA. He said that he knew someone who lived in a noisy city for some years, and was having problems with his meditation practice. "The cars are bothering me," he'd say. Well, his meditation teacher finally asked him one day, "Is it the cars coming in to bother you -- or are you going out to bother them?"

I'd say that's an eyebrow-raising question. And it made the meditation student stop in his tracks....and the next time he retired to his room to mediate, keeping this query in mind, he found his meditation went a lot better.

Funny how that happens. *wink*

See, here's the thing...if people did not wear things because they are "gross" or whatnot, then people would not do things like get tattoos. I'm sure LOTS of people out there think tattoos are really disgusting, and that only bikers and GIs get them. Well, my sister has several tasteful tattoos, and she's not a biker or a GI. If people didn't do things because of the fact that SOMEONE OUT THERE might think it's "gross" or "not right" then people wouldn't even come out of their houses.

And let's not even go into the beauty that I've seen in pictures from the fabulous WIGSTOCK festival in NYC! Drag queens EVERYWHERE, darling, looking beyond divine! Looking 100 times hotter than I EVER WILL in things like sequins and wigs and high heels and satin and lame and makeup and whatever it is they can get their hands on to make of themselves a walking work of art. But men aren't supposed to wear dresses; that's gross, right?

Oh no honey. Them's GODDESSES. They've busted boundaries in people's minds - they've had the balls (ironically, sort of) to say a big old "fuck you" to the expectations of society and REALLY go all out -- to which I say, YOU GO GIRLS! I ADORE drag queens and have known a couple here in Orlando. I've also known (biblically speaking) one person who was going through a sex change, from male to female. I damn near fell madly in love with her too. She was very, very good to me indeed.

Oh, but I shouldn't do that, because that's REALLY GROSS. That's grosser than anything, right?


It's all in the mind, folks.


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10:38 AM  

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