Wednesday, March 02, 2005

TY Heretic

Very sweet note you left me. I'm so glad someone appreciates the things I post about.

I know that my blog probably isn't nearly as impressive as most other blogs are because I mix the personal in with the...more worldly topics.

But, what can I say? It's because I'm a whole human being. My life is not in little pieces.

I have to admit to being not entirely comfortable with accepting compliments. It's hard for me. I hope I can just continue doing what I'm doing and not let any kind of praise OR criticism affect me. I want to just be me, do what I do, and that's that.

If people like it, fine. If they don't, fine.

This reminds me of some things I've become aware of in my life. One is the fact that my mother doesn't comprehend the first thing about my spiritual life and how important it is to me. I hadn't told her anything about it because waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day, when I first began exploring Wicca back in 1989 or so, I didn't come out to her because I thought she wouldn't take it well.

Therefore she doesn't know WHY I'm such a voracious reader. She knows that I am, but she has no clue what I've been reading.

And it is rather a -- lonely thing, not being able to share a part of your life with someone who is so important to you. Believe me, I wish I could. I have longed for support from my own family, and now she's all I have, really. Oh I have other people, but one of them is Doug...Republican, former State Department employee, believing Christian. I don't always feel as connected to them as I do the people I know at the UU Church.

*sigh* Well, as Christ said, "These are my mother and brothers..."

While I'm at the whole introspection thing, I just finished reading Terry Pratchett's novel "A Hat Full Of Sky." I have to highly recommend ALL of his books, because I can't count the number of times his books have rendered me completely helpless with good hard belly laughter, the kind that has you gasping for air and wiping tears and clutching your sides in pain and damn near literally falling out of the chair howling. I mean his books are just that bloody funny. I haven't seen mental visuals that funny just from reading a novel since...well, ever.

But beyond that, I think it should be required reading for EVERY so-called Witch or Wiccan out there, and especially for those who are teetering on the edge and not sure if they want to get involved or not.

Because Mistress Weatherwax sets people straight in this book, but it's done with humor. There is something to be said for making the sky your hat...

One part of "Hat" got to me. The part about the 91 year old man, and the women who took care of him. It reminded me sharply of my father, and how once again, his end wasn't as happy and funny as the story.

Such is life, really. Sometimes I think I talk too much of Dad, but then again he's the only Dad I'll ever have had. And I think that his loss is something that will affect me forever. One never really gets used to it, I think. It's in how one walks with it that makes a difference.

Sure I get sad sometimes. But I also laugh at certain good memories too. And I always remember that I was his "Peanut" and he would want me to keep on keepin' on.

I was writing in one of my other blogs (a Heathen blog I keep) that 29 January is going to be a significant date in my life. It's the day Dad died, and the day of his father's birthday.

I find it significant that Dad died on that day.

But that's part of building a REAL tradition. That's exactly the stuff it's made of. It's what makes it so much more personal. It brings it home, the progress of life and death and new life...that flowing thread that gets woven into wyrd by the hands of the Beloved, Frigg Herself.

See my Heathen links for Frigga's Web and go there for information on the Heathen Goddess Frigg. She is the one I believe "tapped" me many years ago. I'll have to go into it later.

I should probably crash. This has been a bit of a ramble, but sometimes it's nice to just get it out there and off the ol' DDDs.


Blogger brainwise said...

Here are some more sweet words:

I like your blog, too. I think your links column is a great resource, and I enjoy reading your content as well. So much so, that I linked you in my own blogroll, and even touted it in an entry about recent updates.

2:02 PM  

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